yen_14's Xanga

MOVED.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 08:38:03 GMT

I MOVED OUT.

CLICK HERE.

yen rocks the world at wordpress.com

tawa na lang ako. har har.

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 21:34:25 GMT

i dont fit in, and i certainly wont enjoy their company.

lalo na ngayong sinabi niyang may "Appreciation" daw siya sa classmate niya. HAR HAR.

at ayaw niyang pag-usapan ang tungkol sa aming dalawa.

bat ba hindi mo malabanan ang sarili mo from saying those words?

bakit hindi mo maamin sa sarili mo?

BEST FRIEND? para ano pa? e may tropa ka naman di ba?

BEST FRIEND? sure ka ba? para ano pa? safety net, ganon?

i think those days are over. as of now, you really dont need me in your life. may mga kaibigan ka, may CLASSMATE ka, may pamilya ka.

at mas lalong hindi ko kinakailangan ang bestfriendship mo kung sasabihin mong PAMPALUBAG LOOB lang yun sa akin.

gigirlfriend girlfriend ka, wala kang diskarte. manliligaw ka, hindi mo nman alam kung pano manligaw. maglaro ka na lang kaya muna? try mong MABAKANTEHAN. baka marami kapang masaktan na babae dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ano ang pinapasukan mo.

if you really meant what you said, YUNG BACK TO ZERO NA YUN, aba. patunayan mo.

lumugar ka.

deviation among the norm.

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 22:12:38 GMT

frikkin turned. frikkin twisted. frikkin confused.

yes, you read that right - i am so frikkin confused about everything right now. i dont know why, but things are starting to deviate me from the normal ones i used to.

1. Sibling-s? yes. when we watched Ghost Rider (btw, its a great movie) last monday, i feel so awkward bonding with them, knowing that i paid for their dinner and all,but then, it's not me with them. Got that? Para na kasi akong OP sa kanilang 2, like while we were walking, my bro takes my sister's shoulder and go somewhere, at ako, nakabuntot lang sa kanila. hindi nman ako ganito dati. sad thing isnt it? i really don't belong.

2. Friends-err. when we say friends-err, just like in physics, motion impends. eto na nman. i feel so weird opening up to them, and im opening up, to the ones i did not really got a chance to talk in person. my friends, sorry if i may say something, but im not like before.

3. HIM. oo, bakit siya na nman? my world is closed. my world runs through him, so now i feel deviated among other people. what an imbroglio, you may say. but, mind you, im getting some weird questions in my head right now, like the usual, "does he even care?" i know im not expecting anymore, but in my heart, a voice asks this stupid question, which turns me into a stupid person, doing some stupid things, hoping some stupid things will happen to me as i walk my stupid life. stupidest person ever, for the record, IT IS ME.

4. G-P-A. low low low grades i got from midterms. the end. goodbye trinity.

5. Anorexic? or acidic? i am so frikkin thin. actually, this thin shape made life for me much more miserable than everyone else.

hey yen, have a little faith. :)

***

Ama, tulungan nio po nawa ako sa aking pag-aaral,

kayo na po ang bahala sa akin.

Patnubayan niyo po akong lagi na, at nawa,

mabigyan po ako ng buhay at lakas na nanggagaling sa inyo.

Ilayo niyo po ako sa tukso, ilayo niyo po ako sa mga mata ng kaaway.

At tulungan niyo pong mabalik ko ang aking kalusugan.

AMEN.

nine names. boredom lang.

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 08:52:48 GMT

1.YOUR NAME:
~ YEN

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:
(first three letters of your name,
plus izzle)
~ YENIZZLE - ano daw?! =D

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite color and fav animal)
~ GREEN BAYAWAK - haha, favorite pala bayawak. haha!

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, and current street name)
~ CASAUAY TOCS - mahirap kase pag pauso ung subdivision.

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last
name, first 2 letters of your first
name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden
name)
~ RUIYECA :)) - anu daw yan?!

6. SUPERHERO NAME:
(2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
~ BLUE GREEN TEA? pucha. ano to?!

7. IRAQI NAME:
(2nd letter of your
first name, 3rd letter of your last
name, any letter of your middle name,
2nd letter of your moms maiden name,
2nd letter of you dads middle name,
1st letter of a siblings first name,
~ EZAAGJ?? panu yan?!

8. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:
(fathers middle name)
~ IGNACIO

9. GOTH NAME:
(3rd favorite color, and the name one
of your pets)
~ BLACK MADONNA? tangina! lufet. haha!

sick. :(

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 21:02:33 GMT

yea, i am drop dead sick. ewan ko ba kung bakit, siguro ung humidity sa bus na sinakyan namin papuntang pagrai saka ung blueberry cheesecake na ice cream ko, yun na ata un. haynaku. kakainis. micro pa naman mamaya, and im sick. wah!

okay, so here's the thing. i gave gm a valentine's gift, (that was the gift i gave last thursday) tapos sobrang ganda talaga. bumulaga kasi sa kwarto nya un (yes, pumunta ako sa bahay nila with the help of his mom and everything) and then there it was, ung bear the peace offering ko dati pa, ung ball na tinawag naming "caren" (galing sa kanya of course, hindi naman ako marunong magpangalan di ba?) a green rose, a letter, 2 cds, and the THING. it was a black cloth with the lyrics of Collide in it, and its kinda glowing. hehe.

yes, i made him smile. super ganda nga daw ng gabi niya eh. super ganda. as in. wala pa daw kasing nakakagawa sa kanya ng ganun. hehe.

but then, here's the catch.

"There is a very fine line between love and STUPIDITY yen." - Meann Rosario

meann said that to me (not mentioning the holy smokes back in that resto bar) and i know, i personally agree on it. she said that, kasi naman daw, bat lagi na lang ako, lagi na lang ako, which means one thing, "does he even care?" un un eh. but then, my point is, gm do not belong to the "madiskarte" kind wherein some i know were very very deeply sweet with their girlfriends and all.

i have a personal reason why i did that, its not about this stupid valentines day and everything, i mean what the heck?! i never celebrated valentines. the letter i gave said everything - it is a form of love which i have quoted in my previous entries - seting each other free. that gift is a form of CLOSURE, technically we are now the new members of splitsville, but then, i dont wanna keep hangin onto something na dapat sana, matagal pa.

now, pag lumapit siya, then go, lapit lapit. ako naman, eto, pakalat kalat lang. i deeply miss him, but then, as i have said, matagal pa kasi eh. i hope time will fly so very fast until that moment will arrive, and we, ending up together again.

as for now, check out one tree hill. friends with benefits. =D

for him i will.

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 13:00:33 GMT

nagcheck ako ng friendster kanina. yen naman kase, bat mo siya dinelete sa friends list mo? ang sagot: dala ng galit. but then, i realised, may kulang pla. and then he approved my request. damn, he erased all our pics. oo, hindi ko naman siya masisi eh. gumaya lang sakin. wala na kasi ung pics namin. so what i did was, i uploaded those best pics i have. problem is, nawawala ung ginawa kong mata niya na minsang naging wallpaper sa phone ko. alam na naman nila mama, so why worry? and siguro nga, may galit din siguro un kaya niya dinelete. WELL, IF YOUR READING THIS, TAKE A LOOK.

http://www.friendster.com/yenrules

and see who's my primary pic.

nakakaconfuse lang kase, minsan ang lungkot, minsan tinatamad, minsan naman youre craving for him. but them the only one to blame, is in fact, myself. i ended this, so yen, magtiis ka.

how i wish i can put his eyes as my banner again.

how i wish he can text me the way he texts everyday.

how i wish i can go up to him and tell everything.

everything that's going through my mind.

and then it came. two great songs that enlightened me.

"i`m gonna muster every confidence i have, for you i will."

i can take a bullet for you. i can stay up awake for you. for you i will.

"even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words, seem to rhyme. out of the doubts that fill my mind,

somehow i find, you and i collide."

***

im missin someone right now. siguro, pag may lumapit sa aking bago, it's either career or studies. why? ayoko na muna pumasok sa isa pang relasyon.

it is definitely a bittersweet story. sana maging sweet naman ulit. kakamiss e.

***

becasue no one loves me like you did. AND I HOPE, TILL NOW, YOU STILL DO.

wait till thursday gian. that gift is in fact, for you. i hope everything will be alright after that.

and to all the damn people who think im crazy, respect me. he's the first one i seriously loved. and you cannot change that. its not an obsession. its the thing everyone calls love.

for now, ingat ka na lang muna. dont worry. im alright. im always here for you. you know where to find me, at the library, at dunkin, at siomai, at canteen. i just havemy reasons why i cant walk up to you now. but im still here for you. may promise tayo di ba? walang iwanan. i`ll remember that.

ikaw pa rin.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 11:21:02 GMT

Oo, wala na tayo, hindi ka lalayo sa akin, promise mo yan di ba? Oh well, time will surely come that we will be together again, no matter how far you are. I will still go the distance. We both know that we still love each other, promise me you still love me.

Alam niyo, narealize ko, higit pa ako sa tangang tao. Know why? Kase untill now, mahal ko pa din yung tao (at hindi mababago un.). Kahit na sinasabi ng kababata kong mahihirapan ako, dahil, paano kung makahanap siya ng iba? Mahal ko siya eh. Bakit ba? Sabi ko dati, hindi na ako papatol sa duwag, pero it's takes a lot of courage na aminin mo sa girlfriend mong duwag ka talaga. And i deeply respect what you did. Naniniwala ako sa kanya at malaki ang pagtitiwala ko sa kanya.

Nakakalungkot lang isipin, hindi na kami bahagi ng ibang magBF na todo sweet sa fx, mapadunkin o canteen.

Nakakalungkot lang isipin na, hoy, mag-isa ka na lang uuwi, ano pang hinihintay mo at hindi ka makauwi? Malay mo may katabi ka pa ring singbango niya.

Nakakalungkot lang isipin na wala ka nang kasabay na kakain ng siomai sa cubao station, o di kaya sa Dairy Queen sa gateway.

at mas nakakalungkot isipin na wala ka nang itetext ng "gudnyt, slptyt, 2lg k mhmbng. i love you so much." Wala na pala.

Akala ko nga, magcecelebrate ako ng Valentine's na may minamahal ako.

Pero, masaya ring isipin na hanggang ngayon, may kalaro padin ako ng counter strike. Masaya ring isipin, at least, magkaibigan kayo, at alam niyo na hindi niyo ginusto ang break up. Masaya ring isipin na may common feeling kayo sa isa't isa kahit malayo na kayo.

Ganyan nga siguro ang buhay, kailangang may ipaglaban ka at isuko. Ako, sinuko ko ang lahat dahil mahal ko rin ang magulang ko. Pero nakakatuwa lang, tinanggap niya yun ng buong buo. Saka, siya na din ang nagsabing priority parin ang studies eh. Know when to hit the brakes. Aral muna tayo.

Setting each other free is the greatest form of love you can give.

Ayan, malapit na nman ang 05, sa monday na. Almost 6 years pa tayo maghihintayan nito. Tiyak yan. Pero pinanghahawakan ko pa ung promise mo sakin. Kahit na makahanap ka ng iba, babalik at babalik ka pa din, aasarin mo padin ako, at mas lalo kitang mamahalin higit pa sa dati. omaygad. ambaduy mo yen.

Lapit na Valentine's! Wag moko kalimutan ah?

"You'll never leave me, right?"

Kasabay ng isang matamis na "i love you."

Alam niyo ba kung ano ang reply ko? "thank you, remember, ikaw pa rin." =D

me against the music

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 20:36:02 GMT

"its me... and me.."

i hope mr. toothpick and me can get through this stupid thing. shove my ass with a hammer if im ever doing this again. please kill me now?

well, workin with mr. toothpick, haha. wish me luck.

***

well, what happened yesterday?

the issue with mr. invisible sm boy continues to drool all over me, as his hand once again worked on my legs.. haha.. i got ms. redhorsespinner, girlyspeaks, piogenes, teenagewitch, and taklush ever to guard me.. i ity myself for being so headturned by mr. invisble sm boy. fuckshet. i thank them for that.

***

the "i fuckenhate" mr. piperockerboy also grabbed our minds out. wooo. ei, ms. redhorsespinner, if your reading this, OH MEN THE EYES!! hahaha!! she was so intrigued by captain duduy's eyes! haha! seriously, ms. redhorsespinner, leave him. he so gay for you.

yea, and he texted me last night. siguro di ka nagreply no? haha.

***

i fucken hate micro.

***

captain duduy, if your reading this, the jokes between us are half meant. so maybe i wanna do it too? haha..

"ay? nilabasan?" << referring to the skirt i wore yesterday, with a lil drop OF HONEY BBQ CHICKEN, AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!

"ikaw lang ang pinakamatamis na babae sa buhay ko.."

awooo!! fireworks!!! bomba!! terorismo!!!

***

and yes, this is it. daduds party will be happening tonight. my face will not be so whacked if it wasnt for my parents. they made me so cute, many are drooling all over me! haha!

weird and twisted at this time, 5:35 on this fuzzy chair who evenly stimulates my good tiny ass. :)

teazz green tea raspberry flavor.. WITH A FIZZ.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 22:43:46 GMT

DISCLAIMER:

this is my site and i WILL POST EVERYTHING that i should say about my effin day! dont try to kill me, im lucky to have the best persons on earth to help me kill you!

well, first of all, i've been wanting to thank these gagoos (as i proudly call them) for giving me a good time, despite the fact that invisible sm boy started roll all over me.

the DSPOT crew:

memz, jc, ira, and sade, mga gagoo! astig kayong kasama!!

especially to ira, who gave me some words of encouragement for this invisible sm boy.

kat andray, who spiced up my life today.. hehe. :)

***

so what's with the invisible sm boy?

well he's just a classmate, not a friend.. (said by all pure mockery)

yes. you read that right, some things among strangers are not bound to happen. Like what happened to me. He was so gross i want to cut his balls off. so damn disgusting.

well, his hands were workin all over me, LITERALLY, and then he'll stand or sit next to me (with all confidence) as if he is my lover.

>> this entry was not suppose to happen, except the fact that invisible SM boy did it again.

and did you know what captain duduy said?

"anu ka ba.. ganyan lang tlga ang mga bakla.. basta sakin ka lang. :)"

aww. those cheesy exotic lines makes me wanna put liver spread with red horse! haha! (weird)

***

bonding with them was so nice, i felt so guilty with girlyspeaks and piogenes, oh well, sorry guys, a misconception has happened, i thought that everything was gunna be alright, but i was so wrong, so wrong that... please kill me now!

to these nice friends who gave me good company, i thank you for the reality issues and reality blues, (except of course the smokes and beer that you introduced to your system..) IRA, for the gender explanation of the modern faggot, i thank you for that.

***

Many has been revealed today.

the "just friends" story between mr. piperockerboy and ms. redhorsespinner has been opened to me, and ms. bargirl and ms. "that's hott" chick were also linked to the said male identity.. oh why is this place full of yummy rocker boys?! shhhhh... secret secret..

the true identity of mr. "in between" has also been revealed..

mr. piperockerboy has been doing illegal things at school.. BADABINGBADABOOM! *go figure*

the gene pool has been officially divided into two groups, the boring ones and the astig ones..

with the so called pyro stunt, when alchohol hits your hands and then ms. "that's hott" chick eventually lights it up...

that i am an eyecandy to these lovely creatures, pandolino (our dog) who tried to devirginize me this morning.

and the ants who are still trying to mock me by crawling all over me... RIGHT NOW.

ms. demuresmoker was a nice girl to chat with..

lastly, i waited 5 hours for captain duduy, with full mind exhaustion and sweet awful face, till he got out of the fuckinghellshit case pres..

... and was so grateful the bond between us never faded (even though he did not like where i stayed at)...

... and he said (i think with full sweetness and cheessymess)

"you're mine forever."

aww.

weird and twisted as before. :)

dilemma and stress

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:54:44 GMT

at last, the never ending fncp is down. but then, being the star-studded group, we still had some flaws. oh well.

another quote from mr. catiwa : "Ay, oo nga noh.. Ang tanga tanga ko!" << ehem. ngayon mo lang nalaman? =D

jayson, meann, and i made such a great trio to work out those fncp points. yeah, and the total time we got for this effin thing was like, 14 hours? and yea. super namputla ako kanina after the defense. buti nln i got capt. duduy! yey! savior. he bought me some food to eat because i was STARRVVIIINGG!! and then jayson and i got out and bought some pasta.

weirdness by mr. catiwa: pasta palabok. pasta(the one used in spags) and palabok sauce. it was tasty though. haha.

hey guys, sa mga nabara ko knina sa defense, im sorry.. its just that, im your classmate. haha. (kapal!)

perfectionist kase ako eh. thats why.

charisse, nicazen, girly and myron, im sorry!

***

personality test. first half of the "straining" of the second year students. if you fail, you failed because your personality doesnt fit the nursing one. (may ganun ba tlga?)

in the personality test, i learned..

that i am a perfectionist.

i am fond of staying indoors at night.

but then, i am fond of staying in groups also.

indeed, i am a weird gorgeous creature designed to make a difference to the whole wide world.

WORLD PEACE. bow. =D

***

have you ever wondered how you want to give your everything to someone you love but then you cant? you cant because its a mortal sin to your family?

a big dilemma right?

what if you want to do something for you and your loved one but then something blocks your path?

what if that block is your parents?

what if you want to do something for your own good but then you can hurt someone.. worse, that someone is the one you love the most?

complicated, isnt it?

weirdo.

can anyone kill me now?

twisted.