MOVED.

I MOVED OUT.

CLICK HERE.

tawa na lang ako. har har.

i dont fit in, and i certainly wont enjoy their company.

lalo na ngayong sinabi niyang may "Appreciation" daw siya sa classmate niya. HAR HAR.

at ayaw niyang pag-usapan ang tungkol sa aming dalawa.

bat ba hindi mo malabanan ang sarili mo from saying those words?

bakit hindi mo maamin sa sarili mo?

BEST FRIEND? para ano pa? e may tropa ka naman di ba?

BEST FRIEND? sure ka ba? para ano pa? safety net, ganon?

i think those days are over. as of now, you really dont need me in your life. may mga kaibigan ka, may CLASSMATE ka, may pamilya ka.

at mas lalong hindi ko kinakailangan ang bestfriendship mo kung sasabihin mong PAMPALUBAG LOOB lang yun sa akin.

gigirlfriend girlfriend ka, wala kang diskarte. manliligaw ka, hindi mo nman alam kung pano manligaw. maglaro ka na lang kaya muna? try mong MABAKANTEHAN. baka marami kapang masaktan na babae dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ano ang pinapasukan mo.

if you really meant what you said, YUNG BACK TO ZERO NA YUN, aba. patunayan mo.

lumugar ka.

deviation among the norm.

frikkin turned. frikkin twisted. frikkin confused.

yes, you read that right - i am so frikkin confused about everything right now. i dont know why, but things are starting to deviate me from the normal ones i used to.

1. Sibling-s? yes. when we watched Ghost Rider (btw, its a great movie) last monday, i feel so awkward bonding with them, knowing that i paid for their dinner and all,but then, it's not me with them. Got that? Para na kasi akong OP sa kanilang 2, like while we were walking, my bro takes my sister's shoulder and go somewhere, at ako, nakabuntot lang sa kanila. hindi nman ako ganito dati. sad thing isnt it? i really don't belong.

2. Friends-err. when we say friends-err, just like in physics, motion impends. eto na nman. i feel so weird opening up to them, and im opening up, to the ones i did not really got a chance to talk in person. my friends, sorry if i may say something, but im not like before.

3. HIM. oo, bakit siya na nman? my world is closed. my world runs through him, so now i feel deviated among other people. what an imbroglio, you may say. but, mind you, im getting some weird questions in my head right now, like the usual, "does he even care?" i know im not expecting anymore, but in my heart, a voice asks this stupid question, which turns me into a stupid person, doing some stupid things, hoping some stupid things will happen to me as i walk my stupid life. stupidest person ever, for the record, IT IS ME.

4. G-P-A. low low low grades i got from midterms. the end. goodbye trinity.

5. Anorexic? or acidic? i am so frikkin thin. actually, this thin shape made life for me much more miserable than everyone else.

hey yen, have a little faith. :)

***

Ama, tulungan nio po nawa ako sa aking pag-aaral,

kayo na po ang bahala sa akin.

Patnubayan niyo po akong lagi na, at nawa,

mabigyan po ako ng buhay at lakas na nanggagaling sa inyo.

Ilayo niyo po ako sa tukso, ilayo niyo po ako sa mga mata ng kaaway.

At tulungan niyo pong mabalik ko ang aking kalusugan.

AMEN.

nine names. boredom lang.

sick. :(

yea, i am drop dead sick. ewan ko ba kung bakit, siguro ung humidity sa bus na sinakyan namin papuntang pagrai saka ung blueberry cheesecake na ice cream ko, yun na ata un. haynaku. kakainis. micro pa naman mamaya, and im sick. wah!

okay, so here's the thing. i gave gm a valentine's gift, (that was the gift i gave last thursday) tapos sobrang ganda talaga. bumulaga kasi sa kwarto nya un (yes, pumunta ako sa bahay nila with the help of his mom and everything) and then there it was, ung bear the peace offering ko dati pa, ung ball na tinawag naming "caren" (galing sa kanya of course, hindi naman ako marunong magpangalan di ba?) a green rose, a letter, 2 cds, and the THING. it was a black cloth with the lyrics of Collide in it, and its kinda glowing. hehe.

yes, i made him smile. super ganda nga daw ng gabi niya eh. super ganda. as in. wala pa daw kasing nakakagawa sa kanya ng ganun. hehe.

but then, here's the catch.

"There is a very fine line between love and STUPIDITY yen."  - Meann Rosario

meann said that to me (not mentioning the holy smokes back in that resto bar) and i know, i personally agree on it. she said that, kasi naman daw, bat lagi na lang ako, lagi na lang ako, which means one thing, "does he even care?" un un eh. but then, my point is, gm do not belong to the "madiskarte" kind wherein some i know were very very deeply sweet with their girlfriends and all.

i have a personal reason why i did that, its not about this stupid valentines day and everything, i mean what the heck?! i never celebrated valentines. the letter i gave said everything - it is a form of love which i have quoted in my previous entries - seting each other free. that gift is a form of CLOSURE, technically we are now the new members of splitsville, but then, i dont wanna keep hangin onto something na dapat sana, matagal pa.

now, pag lumapit siya, then go, lapit lapit. ako naman, eto, pakalat kalat lang. i deeply miss him, but then, as i have said, matagal pa kasi eh. i hope time will fly so very fast until that moment will arrive, and we, ending up together again.

as for now, check out one tree hill. friends with benefits. =D